Page 137 - DENG103_English - I

English–I

Notes It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when the world around you never ceases to change. The aging
process and immigration have similar if not identical cognitive effects on the human psyche
as both induce traumatic life changes. One minute you’re riding a covered wagon in the 1800s
and the next you’re watching someone plant an American flag on the moon. One day you’re
living with your parents and extended family and the next you’re halfway around the world,
alone in a strange country with your husband that you’ve only known for five days. Essentially
binary manifestations of Lahiri’s mother, Mala and Mrs. Croft dealt with such circumstances
with a steadfast resolve to never abandon the values by which they were raised. Such traditions
were the only constant in their lives, an invaluable source of stability that transcends time and
space, ultimately allowing them to do the same. Striving to be “a perfect lady” each character
had comparable standards as to what constitutes a lady (Lahiri 195). Like Mrs. Croft, it was
important to Mala to be a Renaissance woman for her husband as she was expected to be able
to “cook, knit, embroider, sketch landscapes, and recite poems by Tagore” just as Mrs. Croft
must have been expected to play the piano, dress modestly, yet impeccably, and host “chaste
conversations in the parlor” (Lahiri 181-189). In addition to their preoccupation with trying to
live up to their respective ideals, Mala and Mrs. Croft worry most about passing on their
traditions to their children as that turns out to be the true test of their spiritual endurance.
Lahiri’s presence in the story is a fusion of two diametrically different people, signifying her
conflicting identities as an Indian-American woman. Mrs. Croft’s daughter, Helen is the part
of Lahiri that desires to be a modern woman rather than the “perfect lady” Mala and her
mother would want her to be. Though she is sixty years old, she rebels against her mother
much like an adolescent would as she “[wore] a dress so high above the ankle”, reminding her
that “it’s 1969" and questioning her mother about what she would do if she “left the house one
day and saw a girl in a miniskirt” (Lahiri 186). The narrator’s son is the piece of Lahiri that
wishes to be more American like his peers, rather than Indian, in order to fit in, slowly
forgetting his roots and the traditions that his parents “sometimes worry he will no longer do
after [they] die” (Lahiri 197). And therein lies the crux of Lahiri’s inner conflict and that of
countless other first generation Indian-Americans: How can you be a modern woman but still
hold onto the customs of old?
As Indian-Americans we are burdened with a fragmented sense of identity; constantly pulled
in opposite directions, as our American friends say one thing and our Indian parents say
another, both undoubtedly putting their ethnocentric views on a given situation. Our parents
long for the good old days back home’, back in India; and like Lahiri we understand “that
loneliness and a sense of alienation are hard for immigrant parents” but we cannot help but
wonder why we “feel neither one thing nor the other” toward either side of our dualistic
cultural identity (May 2004). It is a feeling of apathy, but not quite; as it bothers most of us
that we feel this way, that we feel nothing for either homeland. We seem to be stuck in a
shadowy, pale medium between two extremes defined by the vibrant colours of their uniqueness.
To escape such a cultural limbo, we find ourselves constantly picking up the scattered pieces
of our personae, trying to fit them together in any way possible so as to create a cohesive
identity. For as Lahiri asserts in “The Third and Final Continent,” our lives depend on it.
The story is a testament to how one cannot function without such an identity: it is a human
adaptation, the only one that can explain how we are able to live anywhere on Earth. The
resilience of this family and the ability to feel at home no matter what country you live in
comes only from having a strong sense of self, from knowing yourself and your origins. That
is how you will achieve longevity like the centenarian Mrs. Croft. That is how you will survive
three continents like the narrator, like Lahiri and her family.

130 LOVELY PROFESSIONAL UNIVERSITY