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Elective English–I

Notes ‘This becomes more intriguing,’ said Kothiwali. ‘You are a gifted boy, Faisullah—you have a
wonderful imagination! Tell us, what did their women look like?’
‘Well, they were rather big for women. Some of them wore false beards and moustaches. But
each one of them had a high skirt with a metal disc hanging down in front.’ (It suddenly
dawned on me that Faisullah was describing a Scots regiment of Highlanders.) ‘Such horrid-
looking women, I assure you. Of course, there was no question of fighting them. I don’t lift
my hand against women and out of sheer disgust I left the camp and came away.’
Read the book for more such dialogues and situations of quaint humour.

The second reason for reading the book is self-education. The western world is just as much
a mystery to me as is the Muslim psyche. I think understanding them both is part of solving
some global problems.
“While most of the British wives in the cantonment thought it beneath their dignity to gossip
with servants, Mariam Labadoor, who made few social calls, enjoyed these conversations of
hers. Often they enlivened her day by reporting the juiciest scandals on which they were
always well-informed. But from what Mariam had heard recently, she was convinced that it
was only a matter of hours before rioting broke out in the city.”
It is this wisdom of hers which helps Mariam save her family and herself from rebels time and
again. It brought to mind how advantageous it is to mingle with sections beyond your social
circle, especially those belonging to your rivals, anti-social elements and rebels, because who
else will have a better knowledge of them.
Wonder if this is why diplomats and their spouses are regularly found in Page 3 parties?
Nothing better than good old gossip to bind (and spy on) friendly countries and enemy countries.
Another interesting point is the way a lot of the Indian rebels or freedom fighters of 1847
believed that they could wipe out the Firangis off the face of India, typical of misplaced
optimism created by misinformation and emotion over intelligence. Some may say they tried
at least but I wonder if any good came out of it. I suspect it only worsened the situation and
eventually led to partition.
‘Only yesterday the fakir was saying that the Firangis had been wiped off the face of the land’.
‘I am not so sure of that,‘ Remarked Hafizullah.
‘Nor I,’ said Qamran. ‘The fact is, we do not get much news here.’
‘Though my uncle did boast the other day that there were no Firangis left, I overheard him
whispering to Sarfaraz Khan that they were not yet totally extinct. The hills are full of them.’
‘It is foolish to expect that the Firangis will be victorious. Have I not seen a score of them
running for their lives pursued by one of our soldiers?’
People start coming back to senses after the news of Delhi being taken over by Firangis reach
Shahjahanpur.
‘Javed Khan will look quite small now, won’t he?’ said Kothiwali merrily. Apparently the
news did not affect her one way or the other: she dealt in individuals, not in communities.
‘And so much for the rebellion,’ said Sarfaraz Khan philosophically. ‘The city of Delhi was a
garden of flowers, and now it is a ruined country; the stranger is not my enemy, nor is anyone
my friend…’

The Notes section of the book had interesting references to the records and accounts of that
time and later. Some of the enlightening ones were:

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