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Unit 9: The Traveller's Story of a Terribly Strange Bed by Wilkie Collins

“Listen, my dear sir,” said he, in mysteriously confidential tones—”listen to an old soldier’s Notes
advice. I have been to the mistress of the house (a very charming woman, with a genius for
cookery!) to impress on her the necessity of making us some particularly strong and good
coffee. You must drink this coffee in order to get rid of your little amiable exaltation of spirits
before you think of going home—you must, my good and gracious friend! With all that money
to take home to-night, it is a sacred duty to yourself to have your wits about you. You are known
to be a winner to an enormous extent by several gentlemen present to-night, who, in a certain
point of view, are very worthy and excellent fellows; but they are mortal men, my dear sir, and
they have their amiable weaknesses. Need I say more? Ah, no, no! You understand me! Now,
this is what you must do—send for a cabriolet when you feel quite well again—draw up all the
windows when you get into it—and tell the driver to take you home only through the large and
well-lighted thoroughfares. Do this; and you and your money will be safe. Do this; and to-morrow
you will thank an old soldier for giving you a word of honest advice.”
Just as the ex-brave ended his oration in very lachrymose tones, the coffee came in, ready poured
out in two cups. My attentive friend handed me one of the cups with a bow. I was parched with
thirst, and drank it off at a draught. Almost instantly afterwards, I was seized with a fit of
giddiness, and felt more completely intoxicated than ever. The room whirled round and round
furiously; the old soldier seemed to be regularly bobbing up and down before me like the
piston of a steam engine. I was half deafened by a violent singing in my ears; a feeling of utter
bewilderment, helplessness, idiocy, overcame me. I rose from my chair, holding on by the table
to keep my balance; and stammered out that I felt dreadfully unwell—so unwell that I did not
know how I was to get home.
“My dear friend,” answered the old soldier—and even his voice seemed to be bobbing up and
down as he spoke—”my dear friend, it would be madness to go home in your state; you would
be sure to lose your money; you might be robbed and murdered with the greatest ease. I am
going to sleep here; do you sleep here, too—they make up capital beds in this house—take one;
sleep off the effects of the wine, and go home safely with your winnings to-morrow—to-morrow,
in broad daylight.”
I had but two ideas left: one, that I must never let go hold of my handkerchief full of money; the
other, that I must lay down somewhere immediately, and fall off into a comfortable sleep.
Therefore, I agreed to the proposal about the bed, and took the offered arm of the old soldier,
carrying my money with my disengaged hand. Preceded by the croupier, we passed along some
passages and up a flight of stairs into the bedroom, which I was to occupy. The ex-brave shook
me warmly by the hand, proposed that we should breakfast together, and then, followed by the
croupier, left me for the night.
I ran to the wash-hand stand; drank some of the water in my jug; poured the rest out, and
plunged my face into it; then sat down in a chair and tried to compose myself. I soon felt better
The change for my lungs, from the fetid atmosphere of the gambling-room to the cool air of the
apartment I now occupied, the almost equally refreshing change for my eyes, from the glaring
gaslights of the “salon” to the dim, quiet flicker of one bedroom-candle, aided wonderfully the
restorative effects of cold water. The giddiness left me, and I began to feel a little like a reasonable
being again. My first thought was of the risk of sleeping all night in a gambling-house; my
second, of the still greater risk of trying to get out after the house was closed, and of going home
alone at night through the streets of Paris with a large sum of money about me. I had slept in
worse places than this on my travels, so I determined to lock, bolt, barricade my door, and take
my chance until the next morning.
Accordingly, I secured myself against all intrusion; looked under the bed, and into the cupboard;
tried the fastening of the window. Then, satisfied that I had taken every proper precaution,
pulled off my upper clothing, put my light, which was a dim one, on the hearth among a

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