Page 207 - DENG102_COMMUNICATION_SKILLS_II

Communication Skills-II

notes In this case,
28 – 16 = 12; 12¸ 28 = 43%

Thus, 43% of the original sentence was “lard”, which fattened the sentence without
providing any “nutrition”. Lanham suggests, “Think of a lard factor (LF) of 1/3 to ½ as
normal and don’t stop revising until you’ve removed it.”

3. Avoid hidden verbs: A hidden verb is a verb that has been changed into a noun form,
weakening the action. Verbs are action words and should convey the main action in the
sentence. They provide interest and forward movement. Consider this example:
Don’t: Carl made an announcement that he will give consideration top our request.
Do: Carl announced that he will consider our request.
What is the real action? It is not that Carl made something or that he will give something.
The real action is hiding in the nouns: Carl announced and he will consider. These two verbs
forms, then, should be the main verbs in the sentence. Notice that the revised sentence is
much more direct-and four words shorter (LF = 33%).
4. Avoid hidden subject: Like verbs, subjects plays a prominent role in a sentence and should
stand out, rather being obscured by an expletive is an expression such as there is or it is that
begins a clause or sentence and for which pronoun has no antecedent. Because the topic of
a sentence that begins with an expletive is not immediately clear, you should use sentences
sparingly in business writing. Avoiding expletives also contributes to conciseness.
Don’t: There was no indication that it is necessary to include John in the meeting.
Do: No one indicated that John should be included in the meeting.
Imply or Condense: Sometimes you do not need to explicitly state certain information;
you can imply it instead. In other situations, you can use adjectives and adverbs instead of
clauses to convey the needed information in a more concise format.
Don’t: We have received your recent letter and are happy to provide the date you requested.

Do: We are happy to provide the data you recently requested.
Don’t: This brochure, which is available free of charge, will answer your questions.
Do: This free brochure will answer your questions.

Task Give concise phrases that can be substituted for the following lengthy phrases ones.
1. Enclosed you will find

2. Please feel free to write
3. Endorse on the back of this check
4. Are of the opinion that
5. Arrived at the conclusion

14.1.5 Prefer Positive language

Words that create a positive image are more likely to help you achieve your objective than are
negative words. For example, you are more likely to persuade someone to do as you ask if

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