Page 206 - DENG102_COMMUNICATION_SKILLS_II

Unit 14: Writing and Planning Effective Business Letters

! notes
Caution Be especially careful of turning nouns and other types of words into verbs by
adding-ize. Such words are agendize, prioritize, unionize, and operationalize quickly.

14.1.4 Write concisely

Businesspeople are busy people. The information revolution has created more paperwork, giving
businesspeople access to more data. Having more data to analyze (but presumably not being
able to read any faster or having any extra time in which to do so), mangers want information
presented in the fewest possible words. To achieve conciseness, make every word count. Avoid
redundancy, wordy expressions, hidden verbs and nouns, and other “space-eaters”.
1. Avoid redundancy: Redundancy is unnecessary repetition of an idea that has already been
expressed or intimated. Eliminating the repetition contributes to conciseness.

Don’t: Signing both copies of the lease is a necessary requirement.
Do: Signing both copies of the lease is necessary.
Don’t: Combine the ingredients together.
Do: Combine the ingredients.

A requirement is by definition necessary, so only one of the words is needed. And to combine
means to bring together, so using both words is redundant. Don’t confuse redundancy and
repetition. Repetition-using the same word more than once-is occasionally effective for
emphasis. Redundancy, however, serves no purpose and should always be avoided.

Notes Some redundancies are humorous, as in the classic Samuel Goldwyn comment
“Anybody who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined,” or the sign in a
jewellery store window, “Ears pierced while you wait”, or the statement in an automobile
advertisement, “Open seven days a week plus weekends”. Most redundancies, however
are simply verbiage-and hence must be avoided.

Do not use the unnecessary word together after such words as assemble combine, cooperate,
gather, join, or mix. Do not use the unnecessary word new before such words as beginner,
discover, fad, innovation, or progress. And do not use the unnecessary word up after such
words as connect, divide, eat, lift, mix, and rest.
2. Avoid wordy expressions: Although wordy expressions are not necessarily writing errors
(as redundancies are), they do slow the pace of the communication and should be avoided.
For example, try substituting one word for a phrase whenever possible.
Don’t: In view of the fact that the model failed twice during the time that we tested it, we
are at this point of time searching for other options.
Do: Because the model failed twice when we tested it, we are now searching for other
options.
!
Caution The original sentence contains 28 words; the revised sentence, 16 you’ve “saved”
12 words. In his delightful book Revising, Lanham speaks of the “lard factor”: the percentage
of words saved by “getting rid of the lard” in a sentence.

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