Page 34 - DMGT519_Conflict Management and Negotiation Skills

Conflict Management and Negotiation Skills

Notes One step down from war we have undeclared war, which is really a war by other means. For
example, in the period just preceding World War II and the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour, we
were doing things like boycotting the Japanese, making sure they weren’t able to get raw
materials, denying them access to financial markets and committing otherwise “provocative”
acts. While we hadn’t made a formal declaration of war, we were actually in an informal state of
war.

Figure 2.3: The Conflict Continuum

Litigation Personality Situational
mentality clash cooperation Friendship
Neutrality

WAR PEACE

Undeclared Openness Love
War Unclarified feeling Personal situational
of hostility cooperation

This level of conflict applies to personal relationships as well. If we are engaged in open hostility
with someone else, where provocative statements and actions abound and there is the intention
to hurt or overpower another, we can be said to be engaged in an undeclared war with that
person. In this type of relationship, disagreement or opposing worldviews have escalated into
full conflict, with each side squared off against the other. Many unhappy marriages, for instance,
are in a state of undeclared war, with both spouses constantly “sniping” at each other. Also,
many ongoing on-the job conflicts are endless sources of tension and frustration for hostile co-
workers.

Next to “undeclared war” on the continuum comes what I call the litigation mentality. This is
where you’re using the judicial/economic system, playing by all the legal rules. But you are
nonetheless engaged in a form of open hostility. In litigation, someone is usually “out to get”
someone else. They are simply doing it in a “nice” way. But the parties involved become
adversaries, one of whom must win and one of whom must lose.
The next step on the continuum is an unclarified feeling of hostility. Here the people involved
may sense that conflict is in the air, but nobody can quite define it.

Moving down from unclarified hostility, we have a personality clash. This is a situation where
it can be said, “Okay. Culturally, astrologically or whatever, these two people just can’t get
along with each other.” Whether they are relatives, friends or business associates, they simply
clash. One person’s one way, the other person’s the other way, and when they get together it’s
one big explosion caused by bad chemistry. This sort of interaction does not even have to
involve actions or words; just the physical presence of one will set the other off.
At the middle of the continuum, we have neutrality. Here interactions are neither positive nor
negative. There’s no friendship or love; neither is there hostility. The parties involved interrelate
amicably, but they are emotionally removed from each other.
Beyond “neutrality” is a state of openness, where, although there may not be extensive dealings
between two people, there is an unspoken comfortableness and invitation to friendship or
cooperation.
After “openness” comes situational cooperation, in which people are engaged in an activity or
as co-workers, and “personal situational cooperation,” where the parties who are involved in
business or work dealings are also friends.

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