Page 115 - DSOC201_SOCIAL_STRUCTURE_AND_SOCIAL_CHANGE_ENGLISH

Social Structure and Social Change

Notes Closeness
The change in the husband-wife relations in terms of closeness was best analyzed by M.S. Gore (1968:
178). He found that husband in the urban educated family is more close to his wife than in the rural
illiterate family. In the traditional family, relation with mother is more primal than with wife.
Comparing the closeness in relations between a man, his wife and his mother in the rural and urban
areas, he found that closeness to mother in the urban areas, as expected, was less than in the rural
areas, but strangely enough closeness to wife in the rural areas was more than in the urban areas. The
equality in closeness to mother and wife was of course found more in the urban than in the rural
areas. This shows that urban living by itself does not seem to reduce appreciably the proportion of
persons who adhere to the traditional value attached to the filial relationship. The analysis of
relationship between educational status and closeness, as analyzed by Gore (Ibid: 180), showed that
the highly educated people are equally close to mother and wife while the moderately educated
people are more close to mothers and less to wives like the illiterate people. Taking all the data
analyzed by Gore, the relations between husband and wife, in terms of closeness, may be summarized
as below: (1) In the ideal type joint family, man is more close to his mother than wife showing thereby
the minimization of the significance of conjugal bond. (2) As there is no noticeable difference in the
pattern of responses of persons from joint and nuclear families, it may be maintained that nuclear
households are not really nuclear families. (3) As far as the rural, fringe, and urban differences are
concerned, the urban people take the middle position regarding their relationship to their mother
and wife as equally close in contrast to the rural and the fringe people who take extreme positions (of
being close either to mother or to wife). (4) The image carried by women of man’s relationship to his
mother and wife approximates the experience of these relationships by the men themselves.
Emancipation of Wife
The change in the relations between husband and wife is also evident from the fact that while in the
traditional family, husband and wife never used to go together for walks or social visits, now they
are often found together particularly in the urban areas. Women are seen today taking food with
their husbands, whereas in the traditional family husbands and wives never ate together. In fact, the
typical pattern for women was to first serve the men of the household and later to eat by themselves.
Taking meals together plays a very important ‘companionship’ function in the family for husband
and wife.
In terms of dependence on husband also, we find change in husband-wife relationship. In the
traditional family, wife was utterly dependent on her husband for her own support and the support
of her children. A wife was conscious of her inferiority and dependence on her husband and, therefore,
grateful to him for his support. But now husband no longer regards his wife as inferior to him in all
respects and as utterly devoid of reasoning. He, therefore, not only consults her but also trusts her
with serious matters. Wife no longer bears her sorrows in silence. To please husband is not the sole
aim of a woman’s existence. Even Ross recognized this change in her 1957 study. She found that in
the joint family system too, there is a change in the relations of power between husband and wife. As
husband and wife live together, and specially after children are born, they develop building interests,
so their relationship gradually works out to a more even basis where they share responsibilities and
authority.
One of the reasons for the changing relationship between husband and wife is that woman today is
no longer an immature girl at the time of marriage. Being older at marriage, she is better able to assert
her will as well as her claims on her husband.
In spite of this change, we cannot maintain that relationship between husband and wife in Indian
families is developing on western lines. The traditional outlook on the husband-wife relationship is
still so strong in our society that we cannot think of a change from patriarchal families to equalitarian
families. As already indicated above, our family basically continues to be husband-dominant family.
Majority of wives still accept their subordinate position to their husbands as natural and look up to
his superior knowledge and judgement.

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