Page 170 - DEDU502_GUIDANCE_AND_COUNSELING_ENGLISH

Guidance and Counseling

Notes

Non-verbal communication includes gestures like body movements, smiling,
blushing, weeping and other postural movements. Scartching the head, resting the
face on the hand, crossing the arms across the chest, cracking the knuckels, fidding
with the fingers, rubbing the thumb with the finger, closing the nostrils or placing
the index finger on the nostril, biting the index finger, biting the lip, holding the
chin, palying with such things as a key chain, ring, pencil and the like are also some
of the common devices generally employed by individulas in their non-verbal
communications.

16.3 Relationship Between Counselor Counselee

The success of the counseling interview largely depends on the nature of the relationship between
the counselor and the counselee, the latter’s readiness to communicate and his real desire to improve.
The essence of the counseling interview lies in securing an effective relationship which reflects
permissiveness (tolerance and indulgence), kindliness and warmth. This relationship, if established,
aids in reaching a therapeutic relationship, leading to a resolution of the counselee’s problems so
that he/she is able to bring about greater personal balance, more frustration-tolerance, and better
integration of his personality. This means the counselee has less anxiety, less unrealistic behaviour
and can resolve a number of his or her conflicts.
The counseling relationship differs from other kinds of relationships like those existing between
parents and children, between friends, between teachers and students, and so on. Some of the
relationships may exhibit indifference and apathy. But most of the relationships above exhibit affection
and social bonds. Counseling relationship, while being open and accepting, is essentially an objective
relationship such that “under ideal conditions the counselor accepts everything the counselee says
as an experience that can occur in human beings without taking responsibility for it or without
evaluating it”.
The crux of the problem lies in establishing an effective counseling relationship. Counsellors as
individuals bring into the situation their own needs, values, anxieties and conflicts. Some of them
have other roles to play such as those of a teacher, parent, or supervisor outside the counseling
situation. Naturally, they will introject the attitudes of the concerned roles. They may interpret
counselee symptoms as impulsive, obstinate and irrational. They may have rigid expectations
concerning how people should conduct themselves and these could come in the way of establishing
a good relationship which is characterized as an unconditional acceptance. Individuals as teachers
and supervisors accept or praise pupils or others so long as they conform to the norms expected of
them. Such acceptance is called conditional acceptance. This is not expected of a counselor in a
counseling situation. What is expected of him is his unconditional acceptance of the client, that is,
the counselor does not prescribe or demand compliance to his expectations. For example, the parent
accepts his child and showers concern and affection, notwithstanding the fact that the child has
committed an error or misbehaved. For the parent, he/she is his/her child, and this relationship
does not end because of the misdeeds or mistakes committed by the child. The parent’s affection is
unconditional. This does not preclude the fact that a parent may experience unhappiness and misery
owing to his/her child’s behaviour.
Self Assessment

1. Fill in the blanks :
(i) An ................... is a face to face technique of obtaining information for a variety of purposes.
(ii) The success of the counseling interview largely depends on the nature of the relationship
between the ................... and ................... .

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