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Guidance and Counseling

Notes their own feelings. The technique of reflecting feelings is aimed at reversing this process. The client
is assisted to trust his feelings and thereby derive his strength, not by denying a part of himself, but
by mastering himself.
The second relationship between the counselor and the client is the conveying of experience through
both verbal and non-verbal means. Clients’ verbal or non-verbal behaviour conveys feelings. The
counselor, on his part, may also communicate by reflecting his experience, employing the same
means. There could be concordance or harmony between what is said verbally and what is
communicated non-verbally. Often what is said verbally may not be reflected in the non-verbal
gestures. This common experience with human beings has often led to the perplexing picture of
discordant reflections of experience. What is said verbally may not be really communicated through
the non-verbal channels of communication of gestures, tone, voice, posture and the like. It, therefore,
becomes necessary for the counselor to acquire the skills and perfect them such that he is sensitive
to the non-verbal communication employed by the client to reflect experience.

16.6 Sharing of Experience

The relationship between the counselor and the client is central to the therapeutic process. This
relationship may be conceived as a continuum with personal responsiveness and reflection of feeling
at one end and sharing of experience at the other end. At a somewhat central position lies reflection
of experience. Sharing of experience consists in expressing his own feelings, ideas and experiences
by the counselor with a view to helping the client experience his own feelings in a more expressive
fashion. Sharing of experience corresponds to modelling in the behaviour therapy. In this the
counselor, by expressing his feelings, lets the client emulate him. Thus sharing of experience involves
the counselor’s willingness to share with the client his own personal feelings. Reflection of feeling,
reflection of experience and sharing of experience together contribute to the actualization therapy
and are very much identified with the Rogerian therapy. Reflection of feeling involves the
identification of the feelings expressed by clients : It is very often difficult to identify the feelings
expressed by clients. Reid and Snyder (1947) have found appreciable variation among counselors in
their identification of clients’ feelings. Feelings fall under three broad categories, namely, positive,
ambivalent and negative. Positive feelings are ego-constructive and help in the process of self-
actualization. Negative feelings, in contrast, are ego-destructive. Ambivalent feelings usually are
conflicting feelings expressed at the same time towards the same subject. They correspond to the
love-hate relationship. Ambivalent feelings are of particular importance from the point of view of
counseling because they help the counselor identify the apparent contradictions and reflect them to
the client. Ambivalent feelings could become a source of great inter-personal tension. One of the
goals of counseling is to make the client realize the apparent contradictions in his feelings.
Reflection of feeling, reflection of experience and sharing of experience have been described above
as significant devices in counseling. However, reflection of feelings or sharing of experience are
perhaps the toughest and most challenging of the counselor skills. Some of the difficulties of reflecting
are explained below.
Stereotype
This is a type of mannerism that individuals employ and a counselor could innocently acquire a
mannerism of his own in using the same phrase, such as “yon feel” or “I see”. These kinds of
stereotyped expressions may not help to arouse the feelings of the clients. They may, on the contrary,
make the client more rigid.
Timing
Timing has a unique place, in the order of things. When something is done at the appropriate time
it yields optimal results. However, it is not always easy to judge the proper timing. In counseling
this is of paramount importance. When the counselor should or should not act, that is, when a

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