Page 333 - DEDU502_GUIDANCE_AND_COUNSELING_ENGLISH

Unit 32 : Problems of Guidance and Counseling in India and their Solutions

at this stage, while a few others continue for very long but ultimately break down. Premarital Notes
counseling seeks to preclude such a situation. The counselor helps the parties to gain a fuller
understanding of themselves as this is basic for a happy marriage. Affairs which have nothing
besides physical attraction or sex gratification to sustain them cannot last long. The problem of
choosing a partner and entering matrimony is assuming great significance in modern industrialized
and urbanized societies where every person works to make a living. A career is, as important if not
more, in the context of the women’s liberation movement. The concept of male domination which is
to be countered by the female leads to quite a few problems.
Marriages run into problems due to lack of understanding between partners, leading to strained
relations. This situation would seldom result if couples were to have an empathy for each other. It
is perhaps the surest means of making the marriage a success. Empathy has to be cultivated and is
one of the important factors for the sustained growth of a husband and wife relationship.
Marital problems result in stresses and strains owing to lack of communication or faulty
communication. Misinformation breeds misunderstandings and tends to create an information
vacuum.
The socio-economic factors that make or mar a happy marriage concern finances, social life, religious
and other values.
Finances—Finance could cause enormous inter-personal strains as it is one of the important means
of satisfying many needs. Scarce finances could cause serious problems of adjustment.
Social life—With the urban and metropolitan conditions of life, there is much scope for socializing.
Individuals have their own clubs and associations. Sometimes excessive socializing could lead to
misunderstandings and conflicts.
Religious and other values—Most societies attach great importance to religious values. When one or
the partners changes his/her religion the other is free to dissolve the marriage.
Relatives and dependants—Interference by members in the family, such as in laws can jeopardise a
happy marriage.
Occupational demands—Working couples may have very little time to be together and may feel
aggrieved because of the enforced lack of communication. In seeking out avenues of personal activity
they may seriously hinder a successful marriage.
The most important problem centres around sex conflicts. Marriage counselors have to skillfully
deal with the underlying psychological problems that seriously hamper a successful marriage.
Frigidity on the part of the wife and impotency on the part of the husband are the most common
factors which wreck a marriage or make the partner a neurotic. Frigidity and impotency could
result from either physiological or psychological factors or from both. The counselor must have a
knowledge of the problems that could lead to the dysfunctioning of the sexual life of the couple.
Structuring
Marital counseling, we have seen, is a very delicate process and it has to be ‘handled with enormous
care with different kinds of clients. There cannot be a fixed or a set approach. The first prerequisite
of a counselor is to understand his role as clearly as possible. For example, he should recognize that
he is not an arbitrator. He is not supposed to be telling the couple who is right and who is wrong.
His role is essentially confined to helping the parties understand themselves and each other. This
process of understanding is assisted by helping the members learn more about themselves. Most
human beings suffer from myopic understanding of themselves. Sometimes they refuse to recognize
their own faults or weaknesses. The client has to be helped to discover for himself his failings by an
indirect and least upsetting process. The counselor has to use his skills with the utmost care and
perhaps the client-centred approach or the non-directive approach is the most appropriate.
In structuring the situation the counselor is concerned with the mechanics of the situation. Structuring
is usually concerned with the timing of the counseling sessions, their duration, a definition or at
least an indication of the client’ responsibility, etc.

LOVELY PROFESSIONAL UNIVERSITY 327