Page 61 - DENG102_COMMUNICATION_SKILLS_II

Communication Skills-II

notes 3. Be Proactive: Create a physical space. Focus on reacting and responding to the speaker.
Create, a space in your mind too for what the speaker has to say. Create a space between
your thoughts. Think of listening as a form of meditation. Quiet your mind and focus your
attention on listening.
4. Don’t be Judgmental: How often we have passionately expressed a gut reaction only to become
turned around and regret what we said after hearing more of the facts? Allow for a thoughtful
pause between reacting, a space in which to ask yourself, “Do I have the whole story?”
Also, people are unique. We tend to create labels like Liberal, Dead Head, Wise Guy, and
think we know what’s inside. Suddenly, we believe we know everything about someone,
but they are not really all alike.
5. Have an Open Mind: While we may not consciously feel the need to be right, we tend to
have certain ideas about reality and feel groundless when they’re threatened. Groundless
now and then isn’t a bad thing. Without it we can’t break new ground or find common
ground; it’s okay to be unsure.

6. Have Focus: When someone is speaking, you must maintain a proper focus. If you’re paying
attention, you’ll be showing signs of focus – such as making eye contact – without thinking
about it at all. Below are some of the ways through which we show we’re listening.
Maintain eye contact. There’s an old myth if you won’t look at me I can’t trust you. It might
be true, might be not. But if the people worldwide believe it, it’s true! Eyes are one of
the most important nonverbal channels you have for communication and connecting with
other people.
!

Caution Both, under-usage or over-usage of eyes while conversing should be taken well
care of. In the US, not making an eye contact has the connotation of someone untrustworthy.
Similarly, many cultures specially, eastern consider steady eye contact as impolite or
aggressive.

Did u know? (a) Most people in Arab cultures share a great deal of eye contact and may
regard too little as disrespectful.
(b) In English culture, a certain amount of eye contact is required, but too much makes many
people uncomfortable. Most English people make eye contact at the beginning and
then let their gaze drift to the side periodically to avoid ‘staring the other person out’.
(c) In South Asian and many other cultures direct eye contact is generally regarded as
aggressive and rude.
Give non-verbal clues: Nod, lean toward the speaker, take on the general demeanor of someone
who is interested.
Encourage the speaker to go on: We all agree to the fact that getting no response feels like no one is
listening.
Don’t be a verbal trespasser: A verbal trespasser is one who interrupts or finishes the speaker’s
sentences.
Ask open questions: Open questions encourage the speaker. They elicit a more detailed response
than closed questions. “What” and “Why” are usually helpful starts to open questions.

Summarize: Summarizing is often helpful, especially if you have had a misunderstanding, are
unsure of expectations, or have just reached an agreement. Ensure that everyone is coming away
with the same idea.

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