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Prose

Notes who know the compass of a language, are generally the worst talkers on a sudden, until much
practice hath inured and emboldened them, because they are confounded with plenty of matter,
variety of notions, and of words, which they cannot readily choose, but are perplexed and entangled
by too great a choice; which is no disadvantage in private conversation; where, on the other side,
the talent of haranguing is, of all others, most insupportable.
Nothing hath spoiled men more for conversation, than the character of being wits, to support
which, they never fail of encouraging a number of followers and admirers, who list themselves in
their service, wherein they find their accounts on both sides, by pleasing their mutual vanity. This
hath given the former such an air of superiority, and made the latter so pragmatical, that neither
of them are well to be endured. I say nothing here of the itch of dispute and contradiction, telling
of lies, or of those who are troubled with the disease called the wandering of the thoughts, that
they are never present in mind at what passeth in discourse; for whoever labours under any of
these possessions, is as unfit for conversation as a madman in Bedlam.
I think I have gone over most of the errors in conversation, that have fallen under my notice or
memory, except some that are merely personal, and others too gross to need exploding; such as
lewd or profane talk; but I pretend only to treat the errors of conversation in general, and not the
several subjects of discourse, which would be infinite. Thus we see how human nature is most
debased, by the abuse of that faculty, which is held the great distinction between men and brutes;
and how little advantage we make of that which might be the greatest, the most lasting, and the
most innocent, as well as useful pleasure of life. In default of which, we are forced to take up with
those poor amusements of dress and visiting, or the more pernicious ones of play, drink, and
vicious amours, whereby the nobility and gentry of both sexes are entirely corrupted both in body
and mind, and have lost all notions of love, honour, friendship, generosity; which, under the
name of fopperies, have been for some time laughed out of doors.
The Exclusion of Women

This degeneracy of conversation, with the pernicious consequences thereof upon our humours
and dispositions, hath been owing, among other causes, to the custom arisen, for sometime past,
of excluding women from any share in our society, further than in parties at play, or dancing, or
in the pursuit of an amour. I take the highest period of politeness in England (and it is of the same
date in France) to have been the peaceable part of King Charles the First’s reign; and from what we
read of those times, as well as from the accounts I have formerly met with from some who lived
in that court, the methods then used for raising and cultivating conversation, were altogether
different from ours. Several ladies, whom, we find celebrated by the poets of that age, had assemblies
at their houses, where persons of the best understanding, and of both sexes, met to pass the
evenings in discoursing upon whatever agreeable subjects were occasionally started; and although
we are apt to ridicule the sublime platonic notions they had, or personated in love and friendship,
I conceive their refinements were grounded upon reason, and that a little grain of the romance is
no ill ingredient to preserve and exalt the dignity of human nature, without which it is apt to
degenerate into everything that is sordid, vicious and low. If there were no other use in the
conversation of ladies, it is sufficient that it would lay a restraint upon those odious topics of
immodesty and indecencies, into which the rudeness of our northern genius is so apt to fall. And,
therefore, it is observable in those sprightly gentlemen about the town, who are so very dexterous
at entertaining a vizard mask in the park or the playhouse, that, in the company of ladies of virtue
and honour, they are silent and disconcerted, and out of their element.
There are some people who think they sufficiently acquit themselves and entertain their company
with relating of facts of no consequence, nor at all out of the road of such common incidents as
happen every day; and this I have observed more frequently among the Scots than any other
nation, who are very careful not to omit the minutest circumstances of time or place; which kind

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