Page 56 - DMGT519_Conflict Management and Negotiation Skills

Conflict Management and Negotiation Skills

Notes
spontaneous aspects of disputing, ones that are driven by impulse and the feelings of
participants and not simply their cognition" (1992, p. 20). Therefore, emotions are seen as
a means of conflict management rather than a hindrance to conflict management (Kolb
and Bartunek, 1992. p. 20). In essence, Kolb and Bartunek are attempting to reclaim emotion
as a valid expression in conflict resolution, and that expressing emotion does not necessarily
imply a loss of reason. Furthermore, they imply that the formal methods of conflict
resolution favor the rational over the emotional.
Retrieving the power and validity of emotion that was tossed along the wayside during
the Age of Reason, is needed to gain a holistic picture of conflict dynamics. But it also
needs a caveat; for intense emotion can cause reactivity that clouds the way to resolution.
From a family systems perspective, "the problem that triggered the emotions is never
addressed; emotions are merely generated and circuited and recircuited through the system
(Gilbert, 1992. p. 40). In the context of family systems theory, emotions are neither bad nor
good. What matters is the level of intensity of emotion and the duration in which it occurs.

While the family systems approach may seem to conflict with Kolb and Bartunek's
validation of emotion as a conflict resolution tool, the two ideas are actually complimentary.
The intense emotion, otherwise called anxiety, calls attention to the need for resolving a
conflict that may not be expressed publicly. Once the cause of the anxiety is identified and
emotions expressed, people can think more clearly and be better equipped to solve the
problem. The following workplace conflict illustrates this continuum of emotion and its
intersection with cognitive reasoning. It also highlights the important role an Ombudsman
can play in uncovering and working through emotion, paving the way toward resolution.
The Conflict

In a large publishing company in New York, a young woman, Laura, was hired as a copy
editor for one of the many journals produced by the company. Seven other employees
worked on this team editing this Journal, including a senior editor named Tim. Laura had
worked there for about a month when she and her fellow co-workers went for happy-hour
after work. Everybody had a great time and had consumed a fair amount of alcohol. When
everybody was leaving the bar to head home, Tim, who had been secretly attracted to
Laura since she started work at the journal, hailed a cab and offered to share the ride with
Laura. Laura accepted the offer. Once she was inside the cab, Tim then suddenly made an
aggressive sexual advance toward her. Horrified, Laura pushed him away and told him to
get out of the cab. Mortified, Tim slinked out of the cab.
The next day, Laura came to work with some apprehension. How would she deal with
Tim? Would the cab incident affect her job? Although Tim did not supervise her, would he
try to get her fired? Tim immediately went to her office and apologized for his extremely
inappropriate behavior in the cab. Relieved at his apology, Laura decided not to pursue
the matter through any formal channels in the office. She figured that since Tim apologized,
there was no need to dwell on the incident. After all, Laura was a new employee, still in
the process of learning the office politics and proving herself as being a competent editor.
She did not want to rock the boat or bring negative attention to herself.
Everything would have been okay if Tim had stopped at just one sincerely expressed
apology. However, whenever he found himself alone with Laura, Tim apologized again.
And again. He said he was sorry about the incident at every opportunity he had for three
months. This constant apology was awkward and annoying to Laura. Ironically, by Tim
apologizing continuously for his unwanted attention in the cab, he was foisting another
form of unwanted attention upon Laura. When he first started apologizing, Laura told
him that "it was okay". After three months of many apologies, she reached a point where
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