Page 62 - DMGT519_Conflict Management and Negotiation Skills

Conflict Management and Negotiation Skills

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anxiety may have been prevented. Instead, Tim manifested his own intensifying anxiety
into continuous apologies, which escalated Laura's anxiety. Laura triangled other co-
workers into the problem. The intensity finally drove Laura to transfer to another job. To
resolve the problem, the Ombudsman can assist Laura and Tim become more differentiated
by facilitating direct communication between them to express their concerns and find
ways to resolve the anxiety.
Of course, by intervening in the conflict, the Ombudsman is consciously triangling herself
into the conflict. While the ideal is to avoid triangles and deal directly with the person
causing conflict, the fact remains that the pattern of triangling will never be eliminated. It
is an automatic human response. However, the Ombudsman can use the triangle as a way
to encourage Tim and Laura to talk directly with one another and learn how to better
manage their emotions. This is done through the Ombudsman providing a calm presence,
which in the same way that anxiety is infectious, can help calm Tim and Laura enough to
enable them to find solutions.
Toward Resolution of the Conflict
Realizing that Laura's and Tim's interests are strikingly similar, the Ombudsman suggests
to Laura that the three of them talk together privately about the issue. The Ombudsman
would facilitate the discussion and mediate disagreements if necessary. Laura agreed. The
Ombudsman would first talk to Tim in order to ascertain if he was willing to talk with
Laura, as well as allay any fears he may have about her impartiality.
The Ombudsman met with Tim to broach the subject of a facilitated discussion with Laura.
Tim was quite surprised about Laura approaching the Ombudsman about the cab incident.
After the Ombudsman explained that all conversations pertaining to the conflict are held
in confidence, Tim seemed relieved. The Ombudsman conveyed Laura's feelings of being
victimized and harassed because of Tim's apologies, and how she wanted to resolve these
feelings. Tim was confused about why this had become a major issue to Laura. The way he
saw it, he was simply trying to do the gentlemanly thing by apologizing. Laura's reaction
to his first apology was ambiguous to him; she said "everything's okay" but somehow it
was an unsatisfying resolution to him. Concluding that Laura didn't think he was sincere
in his apology, Tim continued to apologize to let her know that he truly meant what he
said. He emphatically told the Ombudsman that he had no intention of harassing her or
causing her emotional distress.
A meeting was held shortly thereafter. The Ombudsman began by explaining her role as
a neutral, confidential resource for problem-solving and conflict resolution. Then she told
them that each would be able to tell their stories without interruptions. Afterwards, Laura
and Tim could ask questions or express concerns. Finally, they would discuss ways to
resolve the issue. The Ombudsman stressed again that anything said during this meeting
was strictly confidential and would not be placed in personnel files or reported to anyone
else in the office.
The Ombudsman asked Laura to tell Tim her perspective of the conflict. Laura, in a halting
voice, told Tim that his sexual move in the cab left her confused and angry. She thought
that it was nice of Tim to offer sharing the cab and had no forewarning of his interest in
her. Laura felt that Tim violated her trust in him. She was angry that Tim seemed to think
of her more as a sexual object than a professional editor. Consequently, she began to lose
confidence in herself. To make things worse, Tim's apologies were a constant reminder of
her denigrated position. In a way, it was more intrusive than the cab incident. At least in
the cab, she felt she could get away from him. In the office, she couldn't get away and felt
helpless as a result. She tried to tell him to stop, but it seemed to bear no results. To top it
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